Sometimes I am reminded that I shouldn't take myself too seriously.  These times are generally accompanied by a very great relief that nobody has been watching.

Being colder weather, I have been plagued with the occasional sniffly nose of late, which means that it's time to be extra vigilant emptying pockets before doing the laundry -- not sure why, but the loads of dark clothes seem to be absolute magnets for all the tissues that I have carted around.  I guess they gravitate to the place where they can make the biggest mess and let the dryer disperse them freely.

Making the bed in the morning also means picking up the odd tissue (or 9) that I have left under my pillow during the night.  So this morning I was making the bed by myself while His Dudeness readied himself for work.  I was making several trips back and forth from side to side of the bed (because I am a nut about bed-making neatness) and on every second or third trip, I would pick up a tissue from the tangle of bed clothes.  As I was still in my PJ's and had no pockets, I took a cue from my mother and tucked the tissues into the waistband of my jammies with the intent of disposing of them properly when I got the chance.  You'd think I would have had the chance, wouldn't you?  

At about the time that I finished the bed, Sir Dude decided that it would be nice to have his last cup of tea out on the porch and wanted me to accompany him, which I was, of course, delighted to do.  We took our cups out and sat to watch the birds and squirrels doing all their little morning routines.  Lovely brisk fall morning in Chester County.  Nice conversation with my loved one.  Beautiful fall colors and rustling leaves.  Just a wonderful start to my Monday morning at home.  One thing led to another and Himself decided to tackle a little job on the porch -- repairing the shutter screen that had started to come apart during the last windstorm -- soon we were deep into the work at hand.  Repair accomplished, goodbye Phillip, have a nice day, I'll see you around noon.

I went inside to put his cup into the dishwasher and make myself another cup of coffee and had the oddest sensation that my left leg was going numb.  What on earth?  Had I twisted something while we worked on our little project?  Had I injured myself yesterday doing yard work?  Was I just old and creaky and falling apart?  My leg -- what an odd sensation -- it felt like there was something brushing against my leg, but there was nothing there -- I could walk fine, but there was definitely something not quite right.  What's wrong?  What's wrong?  Am I having a stroke?  I can walk okay -- should I panic now or wait a minute or two?  Oh dear oh dear oh dear!!!  How will I get to the hospital?  Where's my cellphone?  What's the number for 9-1-1?  

And what is that lump of tissue doing making its way down my leg?  How did it come loose from my waistband to fall down inside my pantleg?  What a big moron am I?  

Oh well --- if I can't laugh at myself ... then I'm not paying attention.  

Just Ignore It

As I achieve a higher degree of chronological  enhancement ..... I am trying to develop some better ways of thinking about things and dealing with things.  Some of it comes naturally.  The older I get -- the less I care about what people are thinking about ME ME ME -- or if they're thinking about me at all, really.  Don't have to wear stylish clothes, comfy shoes are wonderful, my opinion has become just as valid to me as anyone else's -- I just don't feel that I have to share it all the time.  Life is easier in many ways because that constant striving to attain ----- something ----- is no longer there.  I am, for the most part, quite happy with my life and content with my place in the world.  

But there are still burrs that get under my saddle blanket on occasion and I am constantly trying to work out better ways to deal with them from the inside out.  The burr doesn't care.  I just need to remove the discomfort.  

Some things I have learned to deal with head-on and get past them.  Like bugs.  I kill them.  Every single one I can find.  I don't care that some bugs are beneficial -- I have heard all that and I don't care.  Another advantage of chronological enhancement.  Bugs have no place in my house and I kill them by any means I have at hand -- a shoe, a tissue, a deadly chemical onslaught if I feel it necessary -- my house, my world, bug-free.  I don't run from them -- except maybe big spiders -- but His Dudeness is pretty good about nailing those for me, and not complaining TOO much (he knows it is easier in the long run).  So bugs - handled.

There are other issues, however, that are not so easy to face head-on.  They're slippery and slanted and filled with pitfalls and bad outcomes.  So...... mature or not .... I have chosen ignorance.  Ignorance in the sense of ignoring them.  Not easy to do, mind you.  Some days I want to shout and scream and swat at these issues with a big wadded up paper and flush them down the toilet of my life.  I want everyone else to believe exactly as I do and to see these issues for the big horrible monstrous demonic plague that they are -- but that's not going to happen and I am getting better at not trying to make it happen.  

No, the only power I have over these issues (some of them are people, for sure) is to take away their power to bother me by ignoring them.  Here's where the "reconstructed" part comes in.  Ignoring things is really not easy.  Not easy at all.  But if I can get my crazy type-A on-all-the-time brain to take a pass once in a while --- I feel better.  Change the channel.  Get up and take a walk.  Cast on a new knitting project, for sure!  But let it go, Girl.  Hard hard hard to do, but very powerful.  

And now to go try to take my own good advice -- for what it's worth.

Parte the Firste

At the request of several quite silly people, I have decided to write a blog.  Funny name, that.  I am not generally a fan of "new" words -- but I guess "blog" had to happen, given that we are living in the electronic age.  Come to think of it, "electronic" age is probably dated as well.  I am very often a decade or two behind.  Last person in the world to buy a microwave oven.  Just got a smart phone a couple of months ago.  Maybe the last person to write a blog as well, but when I have something to say, I guess I will say it here.  Today is just for knitting.  Aren't you glad you stopped by?